Can I Be a Christian Without Going to Church?

I’ve put this conversation off for a long time. Honestly, I knew it would stir things up. Some people are going to nod along, others are going to get defensive, and maybe a few will want to light me up in the comments. That’s fine. I’m not here to pick a fight, but I do want to tell the truth as I see it, after years of living in this tension.

The question on the table is simple, but it carries a lot of weight: Can I be a Christian without going to church?

If you grew up in church, you probably already have voices in your head answering that question for you. Maybe it’s a pastor who told you, “If you don’t show up every Sunday, you’re drifting from God.” Maybe it’s a parent who made you feel guilty if you even thought about skipping. Or maybe your experience was more subtle, where church attendance was just assumed to be the measure of your faith. If you were there, you were “in.” If you weren’t, you were “out.”

But here’s what I know: Jesus never measured anyone’s faith by their attendance record.

Recently, Jane and I spent time in Spain and Portugal, wandering through these old European churches. Some of them were hundreds of years old, built stone by stone by people who believed they were doing something that would outlive them. And here we were, centuries later, sitting in those same spaces, watching strangers walk in to pray or light a candle. It hit me that I was sharing something with them, even though we were separated by time, culture, and theology. This tradition of people reaching for God had been going on long before me, and it’ll keep going long after I’m gone. That’s what the word church is supposed to mean—a story and a movement bigger than ourselves.

Now, before we get too far, let me say this clearly: I don’t think you can live out Christianity alone. You can’t do this in isolation. I know the temptation. Some of you watching this are ready to say, “I don’t need anyone else, I can just follow Jesus on my own.” And I get that impulse, especially if church has been a place of pain for you. But following Jesus was never designed as a solo journey. It’s always been about community.

Here’s the catch: the word church might not mean what you think it means.

When Jesus told Peter in Matthew 16, “On this rock I will build my church,” he wasn’t talking about a Sunday service with a worship band and a sermon followed by donuts in the lobby. The Greek word there is ekklesia. It means people called out—people stepping out of one way of life and into another. It means movement. It means community. It means people bound together by something more powerful than preference or convenience.

That’s why, when you turn to Acts 2, you don’t see the first Christians building cathedrals or launching programs. You see them devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to breaking bread, and to prayer. They shared life together. They needed each other. And that’s what made them stand out in a world that was full of competing gods, philosophies, and empires.

That’s church.

Now, fast-forward to today. Somewhere along the line, we equated church with a building, a stage, and a full-time staff. I know this world well—I’ve been a pastor for over two decades. I’ve sat in the board meetings. I’ve been part of the leadership teams. I’ve seen how the sausage gets made. And too often, it’s not about Jesus. It’s about attendance numbers. It’s about how many people we can keep in the seats. It’s about whether the budget gets met or whether the staff stays employed. And when that becomes the driving force, people get hurt. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. I’ve had conversations with people whose lives were wrecked by leaders more interested in protecting the institution than caring for their souls.

When that’s what church looks like, no wonder people walk away. No wonder people say, “I’ll follow Jesus, but I want nothing to do with the church.”

But here’s what I want to say: don’t confuse what the church has become with what Jesus meant it to be. Don’t give up on Jesus because someone used his name to build their own empire. We don’t judge Jesus by the abuse done in his name.

If being a Christian without going to church means isolating yourself, never having community, never sharing life with other believers, then the answer is no—you can’t do that. Christianity isn’t a solo act. But if being a Christian without going to church means you’ve stepped away from the institution and found community in another way—friends you pray with, people you wrestle through Scripture with, folks you share meals and life with—then yes, that’s church. That’s the ekklesia Jesus was talking about.

And honestly, maybe that’s the kind of church we need more of.

I believe we’re standing at the edge of another reformation. Much like Luther in his day, we need to look honestly at what the church has become and say, “This isn’t it.” Too much of what we call church in the West is about growth, power, and control. Too much of it is milk and never meat. Too much of it tells people not to think too hard, not to question, not to challenge. And when churches become empires that exist to keep people in line, then yes, some of them need to die. Not because I hate the church, but because I believe in what Jesus actually wanted it to be.

The church Jesus envisioned is a people called out of one way of living and into another. A people who share life. A people who grow together, pray together, serve together, and remind each other that God’s story is still good.

So can you be a Christian without going to church? If what you mean by church is a building with a program that you feel pressured to attend, then yes, you can. But if you mean living your faith in isolation, cut off from real community, then no, you can’t. Because that’s never what Christianity was meant to be.

The real question isn’t whether you go to church. The real question is whether you’ve found your people—the ones who will walk with you, challenge you, pray with you, and help you live out the way of Jesus in this messy, complicated world. That’s church. And that’s something we can’t live without.